Growing in Virtue: Temperance

The constant message of our secular culture is indulgence. Indulge yourself.  Indulge yourself some more. When you are done, indulge your children, your family, and your friends. If it feels good, you will be happy. The struggle to combat this message in our minds and hearts can be painfully difficult and many days feel impossible. In contrast to the message of indulgence and the Church offers us a largely alternative path to happiness. Mother Church simply knows that our hearts will only be content, and our lives given their true meaning and focus when they are filled with God. As Saint Augustine said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O Lord."

The genius of the Catholic Church calls us to sacrifice. As Christ tells the rich young man, “if you wish to be perfect, go sell all you have and give to the poor and you will have treasure in Heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Mathew 19:21) We often misinterpret this passage to mean that Christ wants us to be homeless and trust Him. And our response might be, “Since I don’t want to live on the streets, I cannot trust Him.” Christ is simply asking the young man to empty himself of what his heart is attached to. In the case of this young man, he is attached to his possessions. He finds his value and his security in his possessions. We need to ask ourselves what gives you value to our lives?  How do we avoid wrongly ordered attachments and temper our desires?  What drives us to grow in virtue?

The Catechism states that temperance is one of the four Cardinal Virtues and is described as “the moderation of attracted pleasures and the balance in created goods.” It ensures the will’s mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable. We all know indulgence in worldly extremes is a sin and during Lent, we strive to resist these indulgences, a practice that leads many returning to old habits afterward. In focusing on this emptiness, we tend to ignore the sins of deficiency, the opposite of excess.

When we consider temperance, our first thoughts might be—to avoid excess in drinking, eating and other indulgence. Have we considered that our struggle with these desires comes from unmet needs in other aspects of our heart? Not just any need. The thirst we long for is the love of almighty God shared in us and through us.  

When we drink too much, what unmet need are we trying to fill? When we spend too much time on our smart phones instead of focusing on the world and people around us, what desire are we attempting to fulfill with our phone that we feel we so desperately need? When we hold grudges against someone, what is driving that source of pride? When we think of ourselves first, what pains are we holding onto that cause this outlook?

The cure to sloth or laziness is properly ordered action. The cure to cowardice or fear is rightly directed courage. The cure to holding grudges and resentment is intentional forgiveness. The cure to gossip is to speak kindly of that person instead. The cure to narcissistic thoughts is to spend time with and for others in need.

The remedy for extreme sins isn’t self-deprivation but centering on others, filling our emptiness and theirs with Christ-centered love. Focusing on others helps us forget our unmet needs, gradually revealing that what we sought to fill within ourselves is fulfilled by letting go of our selfish desires and letting Christ fill our emptiness and brokenness.          

I hope we all begin this Lenten season with the goal of opening wide the closed, dark places in our hearts and filling them with Christ’s thirst for the needs of others. Let us spend silent moments with the Lord instead of reaching for our cell phones. Let us shift our focus from gossip to appreciating the person beside us. Let us swap sweets for moderate exercise. Let us free ourselves by forgiving those who caused pain. Let us opt for learning about Saints or something new over secular entertainment. Let us offer not just prayers but time, talent, and treasure to those in need. When it gets tough, let us remember Christ’s own suffering.

I pray that we all grow in temperance this Lent not by focusing on what we are giving up but by filling our emptiness with rightly ordered God-inspired action. May the Holy Spirit take deep root in our hearts and instill in us the interior peace that will pervade into our families and into the world.